My husband survey:
1. What is his name? Anthony Leonard Howell. He never goes by Tony, it is Andy. His Mom didn't like the Andrew, but liked the name Andy, so she just made up her own rules. I'm glad she did.
2. How long have we been together? We celebrate our 8 year anniversary in May!
3. How long did you date? Not very long. I met Andy Thanksgiving week on 1999. We went out on about two dates and did alot of hanging out before Christmas and I just knew that we would get married. Shortly thereafter we broke up and Andy would say we never got back together, we were just friends who got married 5 months later.
4. Who eats more? Right now it is tough to say. I like to eat. I definitely have much more of a sweet tooth and Andy has a bigger appetite for Whoppers. Unfortunately, I always appear to be the one who eats more--why can guys get away with it?
5.Who said I love you first? I think Andy. I think it was after I told him I thought we were going to get married that he said, "So, I guess it is safe now to tell you that I love you?"
6. Who has more speeding tickets? Shawn 0, Andy 10+?
7. Who is smarter? Andy. he is seriously the most intelligent person I know. I know I am partial, but he is really a genius. It makes me mad sometimes.
8.Who is more sensitive? Duh. I am definitely the crier in the family.
9. Who usually wins the fights? Answering this may cause a fight. I would say we don't have fights, we have negotiations. It really can get quite ridiculous sometimes. "Andy, I would ask you to qualify the statement you just made." "Please clarify your apology." "What exactly do you mean when you use that word?" It would probably make pretty good reality tv. Actually our last real fight was about two years ago that I can remember. It was a doozey that is why I remember it. As I recall, I would have to say that Andy "won" in that we went with the plan he was supporting, however, I think it should be set for a review 6 months from now for us to determine if his plan is still best.
10. Who does the laundry? I do.
11. Who does the dishes? Mostly I do.
12. Who sleeps on the right? Andy
13. Who pays the bills? We both do in that I bring home some bacon too. However, Andy actually sends in the checks. It would be too stressful for me. All I know is that I bring home a paycheck and the bills magically get paid.
14. Who mows the lawn? The boy across the street. Maybe I can farm out some of my domestic responsibilities, Andy!
15. Who cooks? MMM, McDonald's? I do. Except for french toast. That is Andy's favorite and I think it's gross, so he is on his own.
16. Who drives when we're together? Always Andy.
17. Who is more stubborn? Hmm, that is tough. We are both pretty stubborn, but luckily neither of us like fighting or not talking.
18. Who kissed who first? I think it was mutual, but Andy was the one who initiated it.
19. Who asked who out first? Andy asked me out first, but I gave him my number.
20. Who proposed? That is kind of a tricky question. Technically I am the crazy person who brought up marriage first. Then Andy actually asked me later, twice, when I wouldn't answer him the first time. I was actually pretty mad he was asking because as I mentioned before we were "broken up." We had a pretty stressful engagement.
21. Who has more siblings? Andy. He has 1 sister and 5 brothers. I have three brothers.
22. Who wears the pants? I wear the stretchy pants.
Friday, February 15, 2008
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Much Ado About Something
Here are some tummy pics, finally. As I am looking at these I am realizing why it has taken me so long to want to go public with these. Yikes! It is alot easier just to look at yourself in the mirror than to look at pictures of yourself. I hope all you skinny people out there enjoy these! :) I think I was 31 weeks when these were taken.
Monday, February 11, 2008
That feeling just before guilt
This has nothing to do with me not being a very punctual blogger. :) I was having an interesting conversation with a friend the other night that I have thought alot about and wanted to write about, particularly because I think most of my blog readers are women, this is for you!
We were talking about the broadcast on Saturday and I mentioned how I just love Sister Beck (the General Relief Society President). I think she is just perfect for women today-professional, yet grounded in the gospel. For me personally, she is a woman that I think actually understands what it is like to be me. This conversation led my friend and I to discuss her conference talk "Mothers Who Know" and the ensuing controversy. (For those of you who don't live in Utah, maybe you don't know, but there was a big brouhaha here because there were alot of women offended by what she had to say. Sorry if you were one of them, I'm not trying to make you feel bad). Anywho, I wasn't offended and was actually shocked to find that some women were because I think that of all the people who could have been offended by a talk about motherly duties, I could be a frontrunner-I don't have kids, I plan to keep working once my little bundle of heartburn gets here, etc. However, I wasn't offended because I realized at the beginning of the talk that I had a choice to make-get offended or take what she was saying and apply it to the unique circumsatnces of my life and learn, not take offense. My friend had a similar experience as she is a working mother of two. She described the feeling the talk left her with as "that feeling just before guilt." I thought that was an interesting way of describing it. It made me want to ponder, "What is that feeling right before guilt?" I decided that it is a positive feeling of facing a challenge. It is a feeling where we acknowledge that we could be doing more or doing somethings better, but instead of giving into guilt, we refuse to feel guilty and turn that into positive motivation. I think it is truly within our power to make the choice not to slide into guilt.
As we talked I realized that guilt really is a product of pride. That may not be obvious at first (it wasn't to me) because it seems so completely the opposite. But really we are being prideful when we say "I can't do any better and if you tell me that I can, then I'm going to feel guilty and offended." Guilt is an emotion without motivation. It robs us of the thrill of standing up and meeting a challenge. I guess in writing about this, my challenge to myself and others is to not give into guilt, but keep challenges to improve in a positive light so that you feel up to the task. Don't be overwhelmed by a feeling that you must do it all. You can't. But you don't need to feel guilty about it. Be honest with yourself though and be positively motivated. Maybe at this time in your life you really can't do more or better. More isn't always better. Maybe what you can do is recognize a need to be more centered and calm so that as you go about your life duties you are really experiencing the moments of your life.
The combination of the "Mothers" talk and other things discussed at Saturday's broadcast made me also realize that when we give into guilt and offense, we are acutally judging others. The thought that was shared Saturday about not judging those with big families (or small families) made me realize that we do often judge others negatively when we see them doing presumably more than we are. We feel guilty that we either can not or choose not to do as much. But instead of helping, we remove ourselves from the pool of resources to that person. We won't all have big families, but we shouldn't not help those with more kids simply because we feel their family is a statement against our own worthiness. We're not in a contest. Whoever has the most kids doesn't win, but whoever has the least doesn't either. We only "win" if we all "win" together and that is accomplished not by asking "why" ("why did that person make that choice?") but "what" ("What can I do to help you?").
Well, this is all really a rambling lecture to myself, but I wanted to write about this and tell all of you wonderful women out there to stop at the feeling just before guilt.
We were talking about the broadcast on Saturday and I mentioned how I just love Sister Beck (the General Relief Society President). I think she is just perfect for women today-professional, yet grounded in the gospel. For me personally, she is a woman that I think actually understands what it is like to be me. This conversation led my friend and I to discuss her conference talk "Mothers Who Know" and the ensuing controversy. (For those of you who don't live in Utah, maybe you don't know, but there was a big brouhaha here because there were alot of women offended by what she had to say. Sorry if you were one of them, I'm not trying to make you feel bad). Anywho, I wasn't offended and was actually shocked to find that some women were because I think that of all the people who could have been offended by a talk about motherly duties, I could be a frontrunner-I don't have kids, I plan to keep working once my little bundle of heartburn gets here, etc. However, I wasn't offended because I realized at the beginning of the talk that I had a choice to make-get offended or take what she was saying and apply it to the unique circumsatnces of my life and learn, not take offense. My friend had a similar experience as she is a working mother of two. She described the feeling the talk left her with as "that feeling just before guilt." I thought that was an interesting way of describing it. It made me want to ponder, "What is that feeling right before guilt?" I decided that it is a positive feeling of facing a challenge. It is a feeling where we acknowledge that we could be doing more or doing somethings better, but instead of giving into guilt, we refuse to feel guilty and turn that into positive motivation. I think it is truly within our power to make the choice not to slide into guilt.
As we talked I realized that guilt really is a product of pride. That may not be obvious at first (it wasn't to me) because it seems so completely the opposite. But really we are being prideful when we say "I can't do any better and if you tell me that I can, then I'm going to feel guilty and offended." Guilt is an emotion without motivation. It robs us of the thrill of standing up and meeting a challenge. I guess in writing about this, my challenge to myself and others is to not give into guilt, but keep challenges to improve in a positive light so that you feel up to the task. Don't be overwhelmed by a feeling that you must do it all. You can't. But you don't need to feel guilty about it. Be honest with yourself though and be positively motivated. Maybe at this time in your life you really can't do more or better. More isn't always better. Maybe what you can do is recognize a need to be more centered and calm so that as you go about your life duties you are really experiencing the moments of your life.
The combination of the "Mothers" talk and other things discussed at Saturday's broadcast made me also realize that when we give into guilt and offense, we are acutally judging others. The thought that was shared Saturday about not judging those with big families (or small families) made me realize that we do often judge others negatively when we see them doing presumably more than we are. We feel guilty that we either can not or choose not to do as much. But instead of helping, we remove ourselves from the pool of resources to that person. We won't all have big families, but we shouldn't not help those with more kids simply because we feel their family is a statement against our own worthiness. We're not in a contest. Whoever has the most kids doesn't win, but whoever has the least doesn't either. We only "win" if we all "win" together and that is accomplished not by asking "why" ("why did that person make that choice?") but "what" ("What can I do to help you?").
Well, this is all really a rambling lecture to myself, but I wanted to write about this and tell all of you wonderful women out there to stop at the feeling just before guilt.
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