Wow, I have officially hit the emotional stage of pregnancy. I am a pretty emotinal person anyway, so I thought I would have gotten here alot sooner. I was actually beginning to think that I might skate through this whole experience without a great deal of emotinoal instability. Well, the past two weeks have proven that to have been a false hope. My oh my.
I had a baby shower the other night (thanks again Alyson and Wendy) and it was what I will remember as the official beginning of my meltdown. A few friends gave me some diapers they had leftover that their babies have now outgrown. It really hadn't hit me before that night that my baby is going to grow, really fast! Yikes. I don't think have thought much about that. That is probably a good thing because ever since I started thinking about it I have been an emotional wreck.
Then on Saturday I went to the hospital to pre-register. I know this is TMI, but on Tuesday I was dialated to 1cm and 80% effaced. Anyway, I was there just checking in and they told me, "Suprise, your doctor doesn't deliver at this hospital." What! I almost melted down right there, but I quickly became so angry that no one had bothered to tell me this, that being mad carried the day. That was atleast until today. After I talked to the nurse at my doctor's office I had a nice long sob fest. It really isn't a big deal other than feeling like I thought I knew how things were going to go down and now all of the sudden I have no idea and feel like I have no control over anything. That really stinks. I don't know exactly which doctor will be at the delivery because it is just whoever is on call that day. I asked the nurse about who I should discuss my birth plan with and she responded with "what do you mean by birth plan?" It turns out she knew exactly what I was talking about but apparently just wanted to take the opportunity to make me feel stupid. Fun stuff. S
I am feeling a little better now, but gees, no wonder pregnant get a little emotional. Hormones are going crazy, you feel like a whale, people act like your questions are stupid, and you are going to have a major change in life responsibilities in no less than 3 weeks (if I go over-due). Someone please tell me I am not going crazy. I know this is just another of life's adventures, but wow!
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My first melt down was in Walmart when looking at the doughnuts and realizing that because I am allergic to them my baby might be also and she would never taste a doughnut- I started crying right there! I laugh now, but at the time it was so sad to me.
Also, I fainted when we went to the hospital after my water broke from being so nervous about everything that was going on and wasn't the way that I had planned (a month early).
You will do great- I am so happy that you went in and pre-registered and found that out now so you can prepare ahead of time- You are doing everything right!!
There is so much information (as well as lack of) in regards to pregnancy and delivery. Just wait until you get into the actual rearing of this child. Advise, comments, questions, head against the brick wall, and every one is so passionate about thier particular way of doing things, it all piles ever so higher and frustrates the snot out of anybody. You are and will do what's right for you and your family at this time. The spirit is so key in anything we do with regards to our family. You already know that, though.
By the way, I find that Doctors don't do squat in the delivery of a baby, anyway, unless there is a complication. I've never known beforehand who delivered my babies. To this day, I couldn't tell you who delieverd our first. I do remember the nurse. If you don't like your nurse, ask for a new one. We chose the hospital for our second based on the nurses at the station. You've got good people chosen to be around you. Our Mom-in-law will be a great advocate.
I am here to tell you that you are most definitely NOT going crazy. That nurse should've shown more mercy on a very pregnant first time mom...that was totally not funny. You are going to love all the growing. BTW, I do have some diapers for you ;)
Hey Shawn,
I'm sorry you've had a rough week. It really does stink that pregnancy has so many ups and downs. Before we had our baby, I remember facing so many feelings of inadequacy at being a mother. I really had had no previous experience with caring for babies (I'm the youngest and never really had babies in the house). I, too, had several meltdowns. So whatever it's worth, just know that every knew mom experiences it at some point.
I am so excited that your big day is coming near! Good luck with everything!!
I can't believe how soon you are due. It will be wonderful. Every thing you are experiencing are normal. You will be a wonderful mom. I can't wait for you to have your sweet baby.
John calls it the pre-delivery meltdown. With one of my pregnancies I was freaking out because I didn't think I could take one more screaming kid (and was just realizing this when I was 8 or 9 months pregnant) and he just laughed and said, "Oh, it's just your pre-delivery meltdown." "What? (not appreciating his totally unsypathetic reaction) "Yea, everytime right before you have a baby, you totally freak out. You were OK before. You'll be Ok this time." I was shocked. I hadn't really realized that it was a pattern. I'm sure you're having a great time and I hear everything went well. You're great and everything will be OK. Thanks for the blanket. I love animals and it is so cute.
All I have to say is... word! I'm just a few months behind you. I can't wait to see pictures!!!
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